If I Wasn’t So Timid

I’d like to apologize for not writing in a while. I went into emergency job hunt mode for a couple months. Now that things have settled in, I’ve got another piece on my mind, about the things I wish I’d said.

If I wasn’t so timid,
I would have told them the truth.

If I wasn’t so timid,
I wouldn’t have told him it was because he wouldn’t travel;
I’d have told him it was because he was a legit sociopath
And being with him made me angrier than being alone.

If I wasn’t so timid,
I wouldn’t have sat there and taken his excuses;
I would have told him good riddance and goodbye,
Because he does not respect women.

If I wasn’t so timid,
I wouldn’t have told him it was because we wanted different things;
I would have told him it was because he said he liked me because I was white (yes, really)
And I have no tolerance for racists.

But I was raised a quiet girl.
So I am timid.

I said the thing that would be easiest,
Because I didn’t want to be a crazy ex-girlfriend for being honest
And pointing out their unacceptable flaws.

I’m a crazy ex-girlfriend anyway.

We can never win.

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